


Spliced Dimensions

by saltfire_asura



Series: Spliced Dimensions [2]
Category: Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Multiple Crossovers, and my first multiple chapter fanfic, hey look man this is like my second fanfic be gentle pls, hi im potato lemme write my three-way crossover here, ill be damned if a tag for this end up on @ao3tagsoftheday, maybe yall might enjoy it who knows
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-09-17 00:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9296966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltfire_asura/pseuds/saltfire_asura
Summary: A universe that used to be three but is now one.People that shouldn't know each other but they do.Join four kids as they adventure in the quiet town of Gravity Falls, Grasslands and try to blow the covers off the mysteries of Ooo.





	1. It Came From A Tourist Trap

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm potato. I wrote this mostly because I wanted to play god and splice three shows together to make this. I genuinly hope you enjoy this, so... stop reading this and read on. And maybe leave a kudos+comment maybe?? XD Also, if you got ideas, questions, you can also send them to my tumblr of the same URL (thatvinypotato)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When twin siblings Mabel and Dipper Pines visit their Great-Uncle for the summer, they quickly find that they'll get more than they bargained for.

_“Ah, summer break.”_

The stereotypical scene of a summer barbecue is displayed. Father barbecuing, kids running around like headless chicken, the wife, sitting _just_ outside of the camera. All the normal junk.

_“A time for leisure, recreation, and take it ‘er easy.”_

We come to see more partakers of the peaceful and social summer barbecue, and eventually start looking at a billboard that says “Welcome to Gravity Falls”.

_“Unless you’re me.”_

The billboard is suddenly ripped apart as a golf cart emblazoned with a big question mark on the bonnet flies through it, carrying four young adolescents aboard. They all scream in unison as the golf cart plummets to the ground below and swerves through the pathway. It flies across a bump, appearing to be the object of pursuit by an unknown entity. A couple of trees in the forest behind the kids topple over.  
“Go faster! It’s getting closer!” the boy in the bear hat at the back yells over the engine’s humming. He grips his golden sword (nicknamed “Scarlet”) tighter. A couple of growls and ghastly tentacles follow the golf cart and the children inside in quick pursuit. The golf cart only _just_ escapes the grasp of these tentacles. The golf cart skims over a rock, sending it slightly above the ground as it spins out of control.  
_“My name is Dipper,”_ the boy driving the cart narrates, _“The girl about to puke is my sister, Mabel.”_ A girl next to Dipper dressed in a sparkly sweater clasps her hands over her mouth. _“The boy wearing a bear hat and holding a sword of all things is Finn, and the kid behind me who is fearing for his life is Morty.”  
_ “Hey!” Morty protests.

_“You may be wondering what we’re doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable terror – “_

“Dipper, we’re supposed to start the story where it begins,” Morty whines. “No we’re not,” Dipper argues, “We can do whatever we want!”  
“Well, if you’re not gonna narrate properly, I will!” a very upset Morty retorts. Dipper grips the wheel so tight his knuckles turn white, “No, _I’m_ narrating!”  
“Guys, will you stop arguing about who’s narrating!” Mabel interjects over the two boys, “We have to stop… whatever the gnomes summoned from sucking everybody’s souls!”  
“We also have to outrun the gnomes themselves,” Finn states, looking back at the _two_ monsters chasing after them. The barbecue patrons’ souls are sucked from their bodies, leaving them as soulless, empty husks with no sense of what to do.  
“That is nasty jazz!” Jake, a talking bulldog with stretchy powers pokes his head out of Finn’s backpack and comments on the situation, “Dipper, heads up!” A tree flies through the air above and past the golf cart, which comes to stop about twenty feet before them. “Look out!” Mabel screams in horror. Dipper tries his best to direct the golf cart around the fallen tree.

_“Rest assured, there’s a perfectly logical explanation.”_

_“Let’s rewind.”_

_“It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air. They shipped us to the centre of Ooo, to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Grasslands, to stay at our great uncle’s place in the woods.”_

“This attic is amazing! Check out all my splinters!” Mabel beams with awe, showing off her hands covered in splinters from hanging up posters. Dipper walks around the attic backwards, until he bumps into his bed. A goat sits atop, baaing at him. “Annd, there’s a goat on my bed.” Mabel struts over to the animal enthusiastically, “Hey, friend!” The goat proceeds to start chewing on Mabel’s sweater sleeve. “Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater! Hahaha!” she giggles.

_“Here, we meet Finn the Hero and Morty Smith, who we’re sharing rooms with for the summer. Finn’s a good pal, pretty rad with his sword and actually believes what I say. Morty… not so much.”_

Finn presents his swordsmanship to the twins, who are (Mabel especially) in awe. Morty sniffs and holds his head high, folding his arms and looking down at the three in disdain. Finn shoots the former a dirty look. He gives Finn the stink eye, until Finn accidentally slashes something in the attic. “Don’t tell your great uncle,” Finn pleads to the twins.

_“My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.”_

“Yaay! Grass!” Mabel laughs as she tumbles down a hill. A wide smile is etched on her face, which is not strange or unlikely. She rests at the bottom of the hill, laughing innocently and the warm smile still on her face.

_“But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.”_

Dipper sits crankily beside a tree, annoyed at the woodpecker pecking at his hat. A book in his hands and a pen in his mouth, he doesn’t see his great uncle sneak behind him. “BOO!” he exclaims, frightening Dipper so hard he topples over. He takes off the mask he was wearing and laughs at Dipper with great enthusiasm, until he starts coughing and choking on his own breath.

_“And then there was our Great-Uncle Stan. That guy.”_

“Oh, worth it!” Stan chokes out as he coughs from laughing too hard.

_“Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called the ‘Mystery Shack’.”_

In a spacious room, Stan leads a group of tourists around his ‘attractions’, who are in absolute awe. “Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The _Sascrotch_!” A taxidermy gorilla wearing a pair of underpants sits on a shallow wooden pedestal, with a sign that reads _The Sascrotch_. The tourists cheer and clap, some even taking photos of the faux atrocity.

_“The real mystery is why anyone came.”_

Dipper, Mabel, Morty and Finn are cleaning the miscellaneous items in Stan’s gift shop. Dipper sighs in annoyance while sweeping the floor as Mabel reaches out to touch a huge eyeball. “No touching the merchandise!” Stan barks at her, slapping her hand with his 8-Ball cane.

_“And guess who had to work there.”_

_“It looked like it was going to be the same, boring routine all summer, until one fateful day.”_

He’s looking at, he’s looking at it!” Mabel cajoles. He watches a boy holding a piece a paper through a shelf of Stan bobble-heads. The boy unfolds the paper and starts reading it, “Uh… do you like me? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely?!” He looks around the gift shop with a nervous look on his face. From the shelf, Mabel beams proudly, “I rigged it!”  
“Mabel,” Dipper obtains her attention. He turns his head to face her as he sprays and wipes a large jar filled about halfway with eyeballs, “I know you’re going through your whole ‘boy crazy’ phase, but I think you’re overdoing it with the crazy part.”  
“What!” Mabel protests, confused. She smoothly turns her head, in a similar fashion to an owl, towards Dipper and blows a raspberry at him. “Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home. It’s my big chance to have an,” she starts swinging her arms to and fro as she talks, “ _epic summer romance_!”  
“Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?” Dipper implores after he stops fidgeting nervously, shrugging to exaggerate his point.

 

His examples include, Mabel smooth talking to a candy guy checking out postcards. She blinks seductively at him and divulges, “My name’s Mabel, but you can call me the girl of your dreams.” She forcibly shoves the boy into the postcard stand as she exclaims, “I’m JOKING! Hahahaha!”  
Another example is, Mabel suddenly popping up from behind a rock person kid with a turtle and gushing, “Oh my Glob, you like turtles? I like turtles too!” She starts to make weird hand gestures between herself and the latter, “What is happening here!?”  
Dipper’s last example includes Mabel hiding behind a bunch of balloons as a salesman from a bed store makes his pitch. After he finishes, Mabel reveals herself and whispers loudly to him, “Take me with you!” The staff member screeches in fright.

 

“Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer! I wouldn’t be surprised if the man of my dreams walked right out that door right now!” A burp later, and it is Rick Sanchez, Morty’s grandfather strutting out of that door while trying to open his can of beer. Mabel recoils in disgust at the sight, while Morty giggles, “Haha, zing!” Stan pushes his way past Rick, stealing his drink in the process. “Stan, you asshole,” Rick immediately starts fuming and starts to try grab his drink from Stan, to no avail, however. After a sip, Stan booms over the working hums of the gift shop, “Alright, alright, look alive, people! I need someone to hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest.”  
“Not it!” Dipper and Mabel testified in unison. “Uh, also not it,” Soos, a handyman at the Mystery Shack, also testifies. “Nobody asked you, Soos,” Stan acknowledges blankly. Soos nods while he drills a screw into the wall, “I know; and I’m comfortable with that.” He takes a big bite out of his chocolate bar and resumes working. Stan turns towards the cash register, “Wendy, Summer, I need you to put up these signs!”  
“We would,” Summer, Morty’s elder sister, begins, not looking up from her phone. Wendy, the local lumberjack, ‘Manly’ Dan Corduroy’s daughter, outstretches her hand and makes a grabbing motion, “But we, _ugh_! Can’t, _augh_! Reach it, _ah_!”  
“I’d fire all of you if I could,” Stan retorts, annoyed. “Alright, let’s make it… eenie, meenie, miney, you!” he points to Dipper, who jumps in surprise. “Oh, what?” Dipper objects, “Grunkle Stan, whenever I’m in those woods I feel like I’m being watched.”  
“Eugh, _this_ again,” Stan groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. Dipper points at him and enunciates, “I’m telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out ‘BEWARE’.”  
Rick looks closer at Dipper’s arm, “That says ‘BEWARB’.” He retracts his arm and scratches it, slightly embarrassed. “Look, Dipstick,” Rick contends, “The whole monsters in the forest thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like Stan to sell merch to guys like _that_.” He gestures to a large, sweaty candy person holding a Stan bobble-head and laughing atrociously.  
Stan tosses Dipper the signs, “So quit being so paranoid!” He only sighs in response.

 

The malevolent atmosphere of the spooky part of the forest is clearly evident. However, it does not faze Dipper, who is too annoyed at Stan to be conscious of the stereotypical danger of the forest. He sighs as he hammers a nail into a tree, “Grunkle Stan. Nobody believes anything I say.”  
“I believe you, man,” Finn attempts to offer moral support to him. He lugs the rest of the signs in his hands as Dipper goes to hammer another nail into a tree. “I see weird stuff all the time.”  
“Yeah, in dungeons,” Dipper retorts, “It’s not in residential areas like here.”  
“Hey, Dip, you never know, maybe you are right.”

Dipper trudges over to the tree and taps the hammer once before he a weird _clank_. “Huh?” He puts his ear up to the tree and bangs it again twice, the same _clank_ being emitted. “What is it?” Finn questions him. “I-I dunno,” Dipper answers, “the tree is hollow.” Finn rolls his eyes, “Oh, that’s all?”  
“What do you mean?” Dipper shoots, folding his arms. Finn goes up to the tree and knocks on it, a quieter, but almost identical _clank_ coming from the tree, “Probably just a secret dungeon entrance.” Dipper ignores him and slides his hand across the width of the tree, until he feels a small dint. The dint appears to be the edge of a little door, and he pulls it open. Dipper gasps while Finn shrugs, “Knew it; secret dungeon entrance lever thing.” The strange box eludes Dipper, a small screen and a gauge on the front, two levers and a pipe on the top. The space inside the tree that holds the strange device is littered with moss and cobwebs, _must be old_ , Dipper ponders. “Flick a switch,” Finn suggests. Dipper actually listens to him this time, and flicks one switch. Nothing happens. “Try the other one,” Finn tells him. Dipper flicks the other switch, and this time, the sound of hydraulics and a door opening ring behind him. “Dipper, look!” Finn marvels.

The goat that was eating grass had run off when the door opened. The two boys approach the hole in the ground and peer inside. “What the heck?” Dipper gasps as he reaches inside the hole. The dusty book contained inside is swiftly removed from its sanctuary. Dipper blows all the dust and cobwebs that litter the book, revealing its cover to the two boys. A golden landmine silhouette with the number ‘3’ is adorned against the red leather that coats the front cover. The four corners of it are embellished with one clean-cut, orange-red gemstone each, surrounded by golden rings to keep it in place. Dipper pans around to make sure nobody is watching them then lays the book on the ground and cracks it open. Finn looks at the monocle attached for a couple of moments then places it back on the ground.

“ _It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since we’ve began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Grasslands,_ ” Dipper reads aloud. He turns the page, revealing messy scribblings, notes, photos and illustrations of an otherworldly creature (named “floating eyeballs”). He flips to the next page, which displays the same messy scribbling and notations as the first, instead the subject being of ‘gnomes’. The page after rambles on about ‘cursed doors’. “What is all this?” Finn ponders aloud. Dipper flicks through a couple more pages.

 _“Unfortunately my suspicions have been confirmed: I’m being watched. I must hide this book before_ He _finds it. Remember- in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.”_

 _“No one you can trust,”_ Dipper repeats to himself.

“HELLO!”

In fright, Dipper scrambles with the journal, the old book nearly falling out of his hands. “Whatcha reading, some nerd thing?” Mabel beams and smiles at him. “Uh, uh, i-it’s nothing,” Dipper stammers, hiding the book behind his back. Mabel mocks him waving her hands in front of her face, “ _Uh, uh, it’s nothing!_ Hahah-what, are you actually _not_ gonna show me?” Dipper notices the goat chewing on the side of the book, “Uh… lets go somewhere private.”

 

“It’s amazing!” Dipper exclaims excitedly, “Rick said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this _secret dark side_!” Mabel playfully pushes Dipper away from the chair she is sitting on, “Whoa, shut _UP_!”  
“And get this; after a certain point, the pages just… stop! Like the guy who wrote it _mysteriously disappeared_.”  
“Whaaaat,” Morty debates, “I’ve lived here for, like, almost a year, and I haven’t seen anything about this ‘secret dark side’.”  
“That’s because he’s always off-planet with Grandpa Rick,” Summer intervenes as she walks in while looking down at her phone. “You go off-planet?” Mabel asks him with equal parts excitement and awe. “It’s not fun,” Morty sniffs. During this time, Dipper had come up with his next argument, “Okay, Morty, then how can you explain this book?” Morty rolls his eyes, “It’s probably some wizard’s spell book, Dipper. Don’t get excited.”  
“Hey, it’s not like _you’ve_ seen a wizard book,” Finn retorts, backing up Dipper’s statement, “It’s all weird and creepy junk that _doesn’t come from a wizard book_.” Before the argument can break out into a full-fledged discourse over the book, the doorbell is rung, which silences everyone. “Who’s that?” Finn queries. Mabel smiles wider than she already was, “Welp, time to spill the beans!” She knocks over a can of beans that rest on the T-Rex skull of a coffee table. “Beans!”  
“This girl’s got a date! Woo! Woo!” she answers gleefully, pointing to herself. Mabel falls back from the armrest into the seat of the chair. Dipper pinches the bridge of his nose, “So let me get this straight: in the half hour we were gone you already found a boyfriend?” Mabel sits herself upright on the armrest, “What can I say? I guess I’m just _irresistible_!” She pulls her arms into her sweater sleeve and waves them frantically as she talks. The doorbell rings again, more impatient-sounding this time. She jumps off the chair and runs to the door, “Ooh! Coming!”  
“Guess I’ll take off now,” Finn excuses himself and walks into another room. Dipper goes over and sits on the chair and starts reading the journal again.

“Nice, creepy old book,” Rick interrupts the boy reading the book. Dipper fumbles with the book trying to hide it, but quickly sees there is no point in doing so. “I-I bet the Author is-is actually y-your great-uncle’s secret twin brother wh-who went mysteriously missing.”  
“Hah,” Dipper chuckles, “that’s an extremely outlandish theory, Rick.” Rick chuckles in acknowledgment, then looks directly into where the camera would be if this were a TV show with a grin that screams _help_. “Uh, Rick?”  
Rick snaps out of his thoughts, “O-oh, that’s right.” He gestures to the book, “M-Might wanna keep th-that away from Lee – you-your Grunkle Stan.” He walks out, granting Dipper a few more moments of silence to analyse the book before another interruption.

“Whatcha readin’ there, slick?” Stan asks his nibling as he stands in the doorway. Dipper immediately shuffles to hide the book and grab something else. He stuffs the book in between the chair cushions. “O-oh! I was just catching’ up on, eh…” Dipper flicks to the cover of the magazine he grabbed, “Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine?”  
“That’s a good issue,” Stan acknowledges before taking a sip from _Rick’s_ can of _Pitt_ beer. Dipper glances through the reading material worryingly.

“Hey family!” Dipper and Stan turn their heads towards the source of the voice, which is Mabel, standing in the doorway with an unidentified person. “Say hello to my new boyfriend!” The being, who looks human _enough_ , turns around to face the two. “Sup,” he says hoarsely. Dipper eyes over him as he holds up a hand and greets him, “Hey.” At roughly the same time, ‘Stan points a finger gun towards him and greets him as well, “How’s it hanging?”  
“We met at the cemetery,” Mabel gushes like a lovesick puppy, holding his arm, “He’s _really deep_.” She squishes his forearm, remarking shakily, “Ooh! A little muscle there. That’s… what a surprise.” Dipper squints as he asks the pair slowly, “So, what’s your name?”  
“Uh… Normal-Man!” he answers hoarsely, shaking as he slowly answers Dipper’s query. Mabel smiles and inches closer, “He means _Norman_.”  
“Are you bleeding, Norman?” Dipper asks again, this time sounding more like he was interrogating him than just asking. Norman’s eyes dart around the room before answering equally as slowly and hoarsely as last he spoke, “It’s jam.” Mabel gasps and playfully pushes him, “I _love_ jam!” She makes to and thro hand motions between herself and Norman, “Look! At! This!”  
“So, you wanna go… hold hands, or whatever?” Norman asks his new and energetic girlfriend. “Oh! Oh my gloob,” Mabel babbles, holding a hand over her mouth and giggling. “Don’t wait up!” She bolts out of the house quicker than Stan could grab a banknote from a tourist’s wallet. Norman finger guns and tries to follow her, crashing into a wall (and a _vase_ by the sound of a crash) as he walks out. Dipper’s lower left eyelid spasms at the sound.

_“There was something about Norman that wasn’t right. I decided to consult the journal.”_

“ _Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for_ TEENAGERS!?” Dipper reads aloud in an empty room. He panics as he continues to read, “ _Beware Gravity Falls’ nefarious –_ “He gasps as he imagines Norman’s image on the page, hoarsely saying, “Sup,” to him. “ _ZOMBIES!_ ” Dipper’s exclamation echoes throughout the Shack.

In another room, Stan is fixing his bowtie as he overhears someone’s screams. “Somebody say, _crombie_? What is that, _crombie_?” He lifts his hand in confusion, “Is that even a word? You’re losing your mind!”

A shell-shocked expression on his face, Dipper turns to the window and spies Mabel and Norman. Outside, Norman slowly walks to Mabel, his hands thrust forward and groaning as he takes each slow step. Mabel sits on the bench happily swinging her legs, unfazed by Norman’s behaviour, “I like you.”

Dipper presses his face against the glass, screaming, “Oh no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel watch out!” He watches in vain as Norman arches intimidatingly over his sister. Norman grabs Mabel’s shoulders, which provokes more fear into Dipper. He screams in fear for his sister, until it is revealed that Norman was only adorning Mabel in a daisy chain. He makes a sound that vaguely sounds like _huh?_ Mabel gasps and looks down at the daisy chain wrapped loosely around her neck, “Daisies? You _scallywag_!”

Dipper hops back from the window and starts muttering to himself, “Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?”  
“It’s a dilemma, to be sure.” Dipper is frightened by the sound of another voice in the room, gasps and jumps back. As it turns out, it only happens to be Soos, the handyman from earlier. “I couldn’t help but overhear ya talkin’ aloud to yourself in this empty room,” Soos clarifies. He returns to replacing the lightbulb in the room. “Soos, you’ve seen Mabel’s boyfriend; he’s gotta be a zombie, right?” Dipper consoles with him, the nervous cracks in his voice quietly asking for Soos’ approval. “Hmm,” Soos ponders, again pausing his work, “How many brains did you see the guy eat?” Dipper looks down at the floor disappointingly, “Zero.” Soos concedes, “Look, dude, I believe you. I’m always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman, _pretty sure_ that dude’s a werewolf.”

 

An abnormally hairy mailman walks past Soos, who is having his lunch break. Soos eyes the man suspiciously, even after he walks off the scene. Soos shuffles to the opposite side of the bench to the man. He also drags his lunch bag as well.

 

“But you gotta have evidence, otherwise people are gonna think you’re a major league cuckoo-clock.” Dipper nods admittedly, seeing the sense in Soos’ words, “As always, Soos, you’re right.”  
“My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse,” Soos announces out of the blue. From downstairs, Stan yells for Soos’ aid, “Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!” Soos straightens his cap, “I am needed elsewhere.” He walks backwards into the doorway, not bumping into a single stray object. Dipper closed the journal shut, and squints with gritty determination.

_“My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence.”_

Dipper records a lengthy montage of Mabel and Norman spending quality time together. He watches with his camera as the pair play Frisbee with each other. Mabel tosses the disc and it hits Norman square in the head. He doesn’t writhe in pain, however, only suddenly collapsing a moment after being hit. Dipper looks at him from the bush with concern.  
He also spies as Norman takes Mabel to Greasy Diner’s, busting open the door from the inside via smashing through the window. He escorts Mabel inside, and Dipper watches from another table, pretending to read the menu. Norman follows Mabel with clumsy and sloppy strides and steps, which give off a zombie-like vibe that Dipper picks up on.  
The pair run through a graveyard, Norman accidentally sinking into a mud-filled grave-hole. He pulls himself out in a similar fashion to a zombie, which Mabel doesn’t overthink. Dipper looks with suspicion at the laughing pair while holding the camera.

_“I’d seen enough.”_

Back at the Shack, Dipper interrupts Mabel’s hair-combing, “Mabel, we’ve gotta talk about Norman.”  
“Isn’t he the best!” Mabel gushes enthusiastically, “Check out this giant smooch-mark he gave me!” She cocks her face left. Dipper gasps in utter terror. Mabel laughs at her brother’s expression, “Ha, ha! Gullible! It was just an accident with the leaf blower.”

 

The leaf blower Mabel had rested on a trash can has its switch flicked from _out_ to _in_. She puts a photo of Norman with his mouth cut out from the photo on the end of the leaf blower. Mabel gleefully remarks, “Kissing practise!” She leans foreward to kiss the photo, only to have her entire mouth engulfed by the leaf blower. In an instant, she overreacts and runs around in circles, screaming for someone to turn it off. She even tries to smash the engine of the leaf blower onto the ground.

 

“That was fun,” Mabel acknowledges happily about the flashback. Dipper, on the other hand, looks at her with a bored expression on his face before he attempts to persuade Mabel about Norman. “No, Mabel, listen! I’m trying to tell you Norman is _not what he seems_!” Dipper pulls out the journal from his vest and holds it in front of Mabel. Mabel gasps and covers her mouth, then whispers, “You think he might be a _vampire_!” She shakes her clenched fists with excitement, “That would be so awesome!”  
“Guess again, sister,” Dipper remarks, opening up the journal to a specific page, “Sha-BAM!” Mabel squeals and recoils in a mixture of surprise and disgust. Dipper notices that he had turned to the _Gnomes_ , “Oh wait, I’m s – I’m sorry – sha-BAM!”  
“A zombie?” Mabel tilts her head in confusion, “That is not funny, Dipper.” She puts her hands on her hips in disdain. “I’m _not_ joking,” Dipper testifies with exaggerated speech. He paces around in circles as he voices his argument and lists his evidence, “It all adds up; the bleeding, the limp.  
“He never blinks!” Dipper points at his sister in accusation, “Have you noticed that?!” Mabel tries to contradict her brother’s argument with, “Maybe _he’s_ blinking when _you’re_ blinking.”  
“Mabel,” Dipper tries one last time to convince her of his argument in their discourse, “Remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?” He glances behind himself in a paranoid manner, then whispers loudly to Mabel, “ _Trust no one_!” Mabel gestures to herself, “Well what about _me_ , huh? Why can’t you trust _me_?” She quickly attaches two big star earrings to her ears, “Beep, bop!”  
“Mabel, he’s gonna eat your brain!” Dipper proclaims, shaking Mabel frantically by her shoulders. Mabel grabs Dipper’s left hand and removes it from her shoulder, “Dipper, listen to me.” She points sharply to herself as she (as equally sharply) asserts, “Norman and I are going on a date at five o’clock, and I’m gonna be adorable,” she jabs Dipper with her finger harshly, “and he’s gonna be dreamy,” she pokes him again, forcing him out the door. Dipper tries to talk to her, stammering, “Wait! Bu-bu-bu-bu-but – “  
“And I’m not going to let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!” Mabel forcibly slams the door on Dipper before he can even voice another word or argue another argument. On the outside, Dipper sighs and slumps down onto the floor, sitting against the door, and holding his hat in worry, “What am I gonna do?”

 

The clock has struck five. The doorbell rings, which is quickly answered by Mabel who is rushing to put on her sweater, “Coming!” She opens the door excitedly, “Hey Norman! How do I look?” Mabel shows off her sparkly sweater with a cat face, captioned with equally sparkly letters that read _Meow Wow!_ Norman shrugs and answers hoarsely with, “Shiny.” Mabel makes a sound that sounds like a mix between a scoff and a laugh, “You always know what to say!” Norman takes Mabel’s hand and they both walk into the spooky part of the forest. Dipper watches them leave with concern. He then looks back at his camera, a disappointed and hopeless expression written all over his face. “Soos is right, I don’t have any _real_ evidence,” he remarks to himself sadly as he goes over his footage of Mabel and Norman. “I guess I can be _kinda_ paranoid sometimes,” he comments as he absent-mindedly looks over footage of Norman and Mabel drawing weird faces in the pavement with chalk. Mabel leaves the scene, and Norman spills something on the drawings. He says some gibberish, and the faces glow and make cracks in the ground that release vapour, “and – wait, WHAT?” He replays the footage: they draw weird faces; Mabel leaves; Norman spills something all over the drawings; Norman says some gibberish Dipper assumes to be some incantation; the faces glow and make cracks in the ground. Dipper screams and waves his hands so violently he topples the heavy arm chair he was sitting on onto its back. He recovers and sprints out of the shack, screaming, “I was right! Ohmiglob, ohmiglob! Grunkle Stan! Rick! Grunkle Stan!”

Stan is presenting his attraction to his group of tourists, “And here we have Rock-That-Looks-Like-a-Face Rock. The rock that looks like a face.” The tourists watch him as he gestures to the rock. A human hillbilly missing a finger asks, “Does it look like a rock?” Stan rolls his eyes and answers blankly as he holds his 8-Ball cane, “No, it looks like a face.”  
“Is it a face?” a large gumdrop with a camera slung around his neck asks Stan. “It’s a rock that _looks_ like a face,” Stan answers, starting to get irritated with the dullness of the crowd. Dipper had made his way to the crowd and jumps up and down, waving his hands to try and get his Grunkle’s attention. “Over here! Grunkle Stan!” he calls out over the crowd’s murmurs. “For the fifth time, i-it’s not an actual face,” Stan clarifies with frustration. Dipper groans in irritation and impatience.

In the spooky part of the forest, Mabel looks at the scenery and darkly mutters, “Finally, we’re alone.” Norman trudges behind and arches over her, “Yes. Alone.”

“Stan! Stan!” Dipper still tries to grab Stan’s attention. He then spots Wendy and Summer pulling up with the golf cart. “Wendy! Summer!” Dipper exclaims as he starts to run to them. “Wendy! Summer! Wendy!” Dipper exclaims as he waves his hands in the air, “I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a wizard-zombie!” There is an awkward silence, until Wendy protrudes the keys and drops them in Dipper’s hands. “Try not to hit any pedestrians,” she points and calmly says to him as she walks away. Summer trails behind her. Dipper grins and instantly starts the car. He reverses it until he sees Soos in his path. “Dude, it’s me, Soos,” he speaks to Dipper. He hands him a shovel, “This is for the zombies.”  
“Thanks,” Dipper eagerly takes the shovel and puts it in the cart. Soos also hands him a baseball bat, “And this is in case you see a piñata.” Dipper takes the bat, and looks around with confusion, “Uh… thanks?”  
“Better safe than sorry!” Soos calls out to Dipper as he drives off. His next run-in is with Finn and Morty, who are fighting over Finn’s sword for an unknown reason. “Finn, Morty! Get in!” Dipper yells to the pair. Finn immediately obeys and jumps into the cart, stealing his sword back before he does. However, _Morty_ needs a reason. He stands his ground. “Morty, what are you doing, get in!” Dipper growls in irritation, “This isn’t the time for our Candy-War rivalry!”  
“Got a reason for me to get in there?” Morty retorts. Dipper groans and bangs his head against the steering wheel, “Fine, I’ll run you over so I can save Mabel!” Dipper starts the car again and nearly breaks the accelerator pedal. Morty blinks in surprise at the mention of Mabel’s name and quickly jumps into the cart before Dipper can drive past him. Dipper scoffs.

In the forest, Norman and Mabel stand together not saying a word. Norman turns around and voices his thoughts, “Mabel, now that we’ve gotten to know each other there’s… there’s something I should tell you.” The wind blows malevolently, carrying a few stray leaves past them. “Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything,” Mabel responses with a tone that should only belong in a cheesy romance movie. _Please be a vampire, please be a vampire_ , she chants in her head excitedly. “Alright, just – just don’t freak out okay? Just… just keep an open mind. Be cool,” Norman says to her before unzipping his jacket. Mabel’s eyes widen as Norman slowly removes his jacket. Mabel gasps silently when it is revealed that Norman is actually a bunch of little men in red, pointy hats. The head little man looks down and asks Mabel, “Is this weird? Is this too weird? You need to sit down?” Mabel’s mouth is agape and she is left speechless. “Uho, a’right, I’ll explain,” he starts, “So…” he hits the palm of his hand with his other fist, “We’re gnomes, first off, get that one out of the way.” Mabel brings herself to only utter, “Uuh.” Her right eye twitches. “I’m Jeff,” the head gnome announces, and starts listing the four gnomes below him, “And here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and – I’m sorry, I always forget your name.” The bottom left gnome happily answers with, “Shmebulock.” Jeff snaps his fingers, “Shmebulock, yes!” Mabel sits down on a rock and facepalms herself, trying to absorb the shock somehow. “Anyways, long story short, the apocalypse is coming soon, and we promised the Ruler of the Nightosphere with a human soul so that he’ll let us wait out the apocalypse in his realm. Also, we need a new queen and you look like the perfect fit! Right guys?” The other gnomes cheerfully growl, “shelter,” and, “queen,” making grabbing motions with their hands. “So whaddaya say?” Jeff proposes, getting the gnomes to hold out a box with a wedding ring, “Will you join us in holy matrignomy-matra- _matrimony_! Blah! Can’t talk today!” Mabel grimaces. “Look,” she pushes the stray hairs over her face back, “I’m sorry guys. You’re really sweet, but I’m a girl and you’re gnomes and it’s like ‘ _whaat?’_. Yikes…”  
“We understand,” Jeff concedes disappointedly, “We’ll never forget you, Mabel.” Mabel smiles sadly, but gratefully at them. But Jeff wasn’t finished, “Because we’re gonna kidnap you.”  
“What!?” Mabel crows. Jeff then rabidly jumps onto Mabel as she screams.

“Don’t worry Mabel, we’ll save you from that wizard-zombie!” Dipper hollers as he wildly manoeuvres the golf cart through and around the forest. He follows his sister’s cries for help down to a below ground, moss-covered cave.  
“The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everyone,” Jeff notes, not noticing Dipper, Morty and Finn pull up behind him, “Just – oh-h-okay, just g-get her arm there, Steve.” The crowd of gnomes struggle to hold Mabel down, “Argh, let go of me!” One clings onto her arm by his mouth. Mabel stops trying to shake him off, and just punches the gnome with brute force. She kicks another and send it to the side. He starts to throw up rainbows.  
“What the _heck_ is goin’ on here?!” Dipper snarls, clenching his shovel. Finn and Morty stand behind him, Finn gripping his sword. A gnome runs past Dipper and hisses at him, and Dipper flinches. From the hoard of gnomes, Mabel waves for Dipper’s attention, “Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they’re total jerks!” She punches a gnome away, and another starts tugging on her hair, “Hair! Hair!” Dipper slyly pulls out his journal, “Gnomes. Huh, I was way off.” He flips through the book to the entry on gnomes, “ _Gnomes; little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown._ ”  
“Oh, come on!” Mabel jeers, appearing to have been tied down by the gnomes. Even without any knowledge on how to defeat them, Dipper angrily marches up to the little men, “Hey! Hey! Let go of my sister!” Jeff turns around to face Dipper, slightly startled. He chuckles and tries to passively explain, “Hey, there! Um… y’know, this is all, just a big misunderstanding, you see, your sister’s not in danger. She’s just marrying all one-thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity.” He purposefully left out the small detail of selling her soul. Jeff turns to Mabel, “Isn’t that right, honey?”  
“You guys are BUTTFACES!” Mabel spits before one of the gnomes cover her mouth. Dipper points his shovel aggressively at Jeff, “Give her back right now, or _ELSE_!” Finn rushes to stand with him, holding his favourite golden sword, “Yeah, ya dingus!” Jeff’s expression grows dark and serious, “You think you can stop us, boy. You have no idea what we’re capable of! The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle – “  
Dipper simply scoops up Jeff and flings him to the side with the shovel. He rushes ahead to free Mabel of the strings that hold her down, breaking them all with the shovel’s edge. Mabel jumps up, temporarily taking out the gnomes, and she flees to the golf cart with Dipper. She claims shotgun. “They’re getting away with our queen! No, no, NO!” Jeff yells, signalling for the other gnomes to pursue them. “Seatbelt,” Dipper quips, before he reverses the cart and starts to drive off. Finn whacks the leftover gnomes with his sword before he literally jumps back into his seat, behind Dipper.

Jeff angrily stands on his favourite rock, darkly complaining that Dipper, “messed with the wrong creatures, boy,” Jeff angrily orders, “Gnomes of the forest, ASSEMBLE.” All the gnomes hear his raged-fuelled call and literally assemble to form their gnome giant.

Mabel looks back at the small entrance to the moss cave-valley, then looks back at Dipper, clasping her hands together, “Hurry! Before they come after us!” Dipper replies nonchalantly, “I wouldn’t worry about it,” he makes little walking motions with his fingers, “You see their little legs, heheh, those suckers are tiny.” A rumble shakes through the ground like an earthquake, which startles the four kids in the golf cart. Dipper stops the cart, and they sit there, inanimate, as the rumbles become louder and larger. The kids look back in the direction they came from, and they see the gnome giant towering over them. “Dang,” Jake, who had been hiding in Finn’s backpack the whole ride remarks.

Jeff, sitting atop the giant, grabs the two gnomes’ below him hats (which appear to function as levers), “Alright, teamwork, guys, like we practised!” The giant growls, and arches its hands up in the air, ready to slam the ground. Morty shakes with fear, “Move! Move! Dipper, f-freaking start th-the cart!” Dipper brings the cart into fourth gear and slams the accelerator, the cart whizzing off down the dirt path. It barely escapes the giant’s slam attack, which breaks formation of the arm for a couple of moments, buying the kids more time.

Something blocks out the sun, and Jeff is both relieved and agitated to see the literal demon blocking out the sun. “Where the heck was you!?” Hunson Abadeer, the King of the Nightosphere brushes his shoulder off, “Sorry, gnome, I was caught up with my daughter.” Jeff groans, and turns his attention back to the kids, “COME BACK WITH OUR QUEEN!”  
He chases after them, and Hunson follows, sucking the souls of anyone they pass by.

Finn notices that the gnome giant, and the supposed demon they summoned had gained on them, “Go faster! It’s getting closer!” The giant launches about four gnomes at the golf cart, who try to stop the kids from getting away. One gnome lands on the roof of the cart, and starts to tear away the fabric that covers it. Morty grabs the bat Soos gave Dipper from before and swats the gnome away. Another hangs from the edge of the roof, and growls rabidly at Mabel. She elbows him in the face, and the gnome loses grip and flies off. Another gnome tries to attack Finn, and jumps onto the back of the seat. Finn, furious by now, grabs the gnome and repeatedly slams him on the back of Dipper’s seat, smashing him into the loose spring a couple of times. “Shmebulock,” the gnome slurs before he is slammed into the back of the seat for the last time. The fourth gnome lands on the bonnet and lunges at Dipper, scratching at his face like a wild cat. “I’ll save you, Dipper!” Mabel cries, clenching her fist. She repeatedly punches the gnome (or Dipper’s face, maybe both) until she gets him off her brother. The gnome takes Dipper’s lucky cap with him. Dipper, dizzy and bruised from sustaining all of those punches, slurs out a, “Thanks, Mabel.”  
“Don’t mention it,” Mabel replies.

The gnome giant, with more and more space getting between it and the kids with each passing second, uproots a tree and throws it towards the kids like a javelin. It flies ahead, silencing the argument between Dipper and Morty about who should be narrating the story (“You’re supposed to start the story from where we begin!” “No we’re not, we can do whatever we want!”). “That is nasty jazz,” Jake comments from Finn’s backpack, watching the barbecue patrons’ souls being sucked up, “Dipper, heads up!” The tree crashes into the ground a few metres before them, which Mabel responds to with, “Look out!”

As the golf cart spins out of control, the kids hear a high-pitched scream. Finn recognises the voice, “Marceline the Vampire Queen!” Jake cowers deeper into the backpack. “Gesundheit,” Dipper retorts, “Who’s that?”  
“You know that crazy thing the gnomes summoned? It’s Marceline’s dad, and they have… issues,” Finn explains, “We can deal with that later.”  
By now, Dipper had lost all control over the golf cart, anarchy taking over. It spin-swerves into the land occupied by the Mystery Shack, and topples over. The kids groan as they crawl out of the busted cart, hearing the thumps of the gnome giant’s footsteps grow closer. “Stay back, man!” Dipper tries to command intimidatingly, pointing at it in accusation. He grabs the shovel on the ground beside him and throws it at the giant. However, the giant smashes the shovel into the ground before it hits it. The twins scream in fear, holding each other. Finn grips his sword and slowly backs up, defensively standing in front of other three. “Uuh?” Dipper quivers, “Where’s Grunkle Stan?”

From inside the shack, the kids the and gnome giant are clearly visible. But no one’s concerned about the window, when there’s an attraction for the tourists to see, and tourists’ wallets for Stan to milk. “Behold, the world’s most distracting object!” Stan declares, displaying a spinning disc (most likely one of those hypnosis discs, you know what I’m saying?). He holds it directly in front of the view of the kids trying to take on a gnome giant as the tourists “ooh!” and “ahh!”.  
“Just try look away; you can’t!” Stan exclaims, staring intently at the hypnotising object. “I can’t even remember what I was talking about.”

Outside, the gnome monster slowly inches towards the kids, who move back until their backs are up against the wall. “It’s the end of the line, kids,” Jeff jeers, pointing at Mabel in accusation, “Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!” Dipper rubs his temples, “There’s gotta be a way outta this.” He reaches into his vest to take out his journal, but stops when Mabel steps forward and affirms, “I gotta do it.”  
“What! Mabel, don’t do this!” Dipper hisses pleadingly. “Are you crazy!?” Morty shoots.

“Trust me,” Mabel answers. Dipper blinks, “What?” Mabel whispers to her brother, “Dipper, just this once, _trust me_.” Dipper looks at her, then at the giant, then back at Mabel, and nods. He steps back, out of the gnome giant’s shadow. Mabel walks up to the giant, “Alright, Jeff, I’ll marry you.” The gnome jumps in joy, “Hot dog!” Jeff crawls down the giant until he reaches the ground. He displays the box holding the wedding ring to Mabel, who leans down and outstretches her hand. Jeff places the ring on her finger and starts dancing, “Bada bing, bada bam, now let’s get you back into the forest, honey.”  
“You may now kiss the bride,” Mabel announces, supposedly smiling at the ring. Jeff stays where he stands, “Well, don’t mind if I do!” He leans back towards Mabel, ready to kiss her. Mabel leans forward, only to reveal it was all a ruse as she swiftly grabs the leaf blower and aims it at Jeff. “H-hey, wait a minute.” Dipper and Finn gasp in astonishment at Mabel’s idea. “W-whoa, what’s going on?” Jeff stutters as he is sucked into the leaf-blower, “Ah-aaah!”

“That’s for lying to me,” Mabel remarks. She turns up the reverse power to full, “That’s for breaking my heart!”  
“Ow, my face!” Jeff screams, however muffled due to being halfway sucked in by a leaf-blower. “And _this_ is for messing with my brother and our friends!” Mabel jeers, pointing the leaf blower towards the gnome giant. “Wanna do the honours?” Dipper grins and looks towards Finn and Morty, “Yo! Guys, get over here!” Finn and Morty run up to them, and the three of them grab the lever to turn the leaf-blower back to full blast. “On three!” Morty declares, and the four all count from one to three and blast Jeff from the leaf-blower. The kids get knocked back into a bush as Jeff goes flies through the air, flying _through_ the gnome giant. It separates into its two-hundred and fifty gnomes which fly and rain from the sky. Jeff careens into the forest, yelling that he’ll, “GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!” The gnomes scatter into the forest as Mabel walks around blowing them away with the leaf-blower. One gnome even gets stuck inside a piece of litter, and the goat from earlier picks him up and takes him away.

The kids trudge back inside, Morty and Finn going back in first and Dipper and Mabel trailing in behind. “Hey, Dipper,” Mabel professes, “I-um… I’m sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me.”  
“Oh, don’t be like that, you saved our butts back there!” Dipper confides, making a _don’t worry about it_ wave with his hand. “I guess I’m just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes,” Mabel pouts, throwing off the fallen leaves from her head. Dipper shrugs, “Look on the bright side, maybe the next one _will_ be a vampire.” Mabel chuckles and playfully punches Dipper’s arm, “You’re just saying that.” Dipper outstretches his arms and offers an, “Awkward sibling hug?” Mabel copies Dipper and answers happily with, “Awkward sibling hug.” They embrace and then pat each other’s back, reciting, “Pat! Pat!” as they do. “Aw, that’s adorable!” Finn gushes, “So math.” Mabel grins at the two boys ahead, waiting for them to come inside.

The kids trudge back inside, so tired from fighting gnomes and screaming all afternoon. “Yeesh, you four get hit by a bus or something?” Stan remarks, cackling and slamming the table after delivering his punchline. The twins, Finn and Morty ignore him, walking to the door that would lead them to the rest of the house. Sensing that the kids weren’t really in the mood for such jokes, Stan looks at his wad of cash for a moment before turning to the kids, “Uhh, hey!” The kids turn back to Stan. “Would-wouldn’t you know it, um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory,” he explains, fiddling with the banknotes in his hand, “so, uh, how’s about each of you take one item from the gift shop, on the house, y’know.”  
“Really?” Mabel beams with delight. Dipper and Morty both fold their arms and ask Stan in unison, “What’s the catch?” Stan swipes up the money he had separated into three piles and slides them into the cash register, “The catch is, do it before I change my mind, now take something.” The kids look around the gift shop for an item they really want.  
Dipper grabs a new cap, one with a blue pine tree on the front. He looks in the mirror (the mirror that tells him that it looks good and that he should buy it) and smiles, “That oughta do the trick.”  
Finn beams at the shirt with a sword on it, and wears it over his bleak cyan shirt, “Mathematical.”  
“Welp, this looks cool,” Morty grins, claiming the skull lantern. He looks inside and finds a silver crescent moon pendant, “Awesome, two for one deal.”  
“And I will have a,” Mabel grabs an item from a box and twirls around to reveal her choice, “GRAPPLING HOOK!”

“Yes!” Mabel smiles delightfully. Dipper and Stan look at each other, while Morty puts up an enthusiastic thumb’s up. “Wouldn’t you rather have, like, a doll, or something?” Stan questions her, to which there is no answer but Mabel firing the grappling hook at the ceiling. The weapon retracts and pulls Mabel up onto the wooden beam up near the ceiling, “GRAPPLING HOOK!”  
“Fair enough!” Stan grins.

 

“You weren’t kidding,” Morty gasps, “That book _is_ creepy!” Dipper grins smugly, “ _Now_ you believe me.” Morty trudges over to his bed and flops, instantly falling asleep. It’s probably better he sleeps early, Rick probably gonna come and drag him out later tonight. He watches Mabel jump up and down on the bed, giggling at such a mundane activity.

The door is suddenly kicked open by Finn, who tosses his bag onto his bed and lies down, tired from helping Marceline deal with Hunson (long story short: Marceline distracted him with her teenage angst and Finn banished him back to the Nightosphere).

_“This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust, but when you battle 100 gnomes side by side with someone, you realise that they probably always got your back.”_

Dipper looks at Mabel playing with her grapping hook, who, somehow, manages to snag Morty’s skull lantern off of his bedside table. She grins at Dipper and at Morty, who tries to be angry but the best he can do is be pouty towards her. “Hey Mabel, could you get the light?” Dipper smiles at his sister as he asks. Mabel tosses the skull lantern back to Morty and aims at the lantern, “I’m on it.” She unintentionally knocks the lantern out the window, which is now shattered. “It worked!” Finn and Mabel exclaim with glee. Dipper and Morty look at each other and smiled. Then they laughed. The contagious case of laughter spreads to Mabel and Finn, and soon, all of them are laughing. Content, happy.

_“Our uncle and Morty’s grandfather told us there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.”_

Downstairs, Rick is waiting at the vending machine. Stan meets him there and silently greets him. Rick punches in a code into the vending machine keypad, and the vending machine swings open to reveal a hidden staircase. Rick walks in, shoving his hands into his pockets. Stan follows, but before he closes the door behind him, he looks around suspiciously. He then closes the door, and the vending machine lights flicker off.

****

**_14-2-8-7-22-9-18-12-6-8 17-12-6-9-13-26-15 18-8 4-19-26-7 19-22 21-12-6-13-23_ **

**_7-19-22 26-13-8-4-22-9-7 4-22-7-22 23-7-12-4-13-22-23_ **

**_21-12-7-22-8-19-26-23-12-4-22-23 23-18-8-26-8-7-22-9 18-8 4-19-26-7 8-19-22 19-26-9-23_ **

**_7-19-22 26-13-8-4-22-9-7 26-7-22_ **


	2. Story of the Gobblewonker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morty, Finn and the Pines Twins get dragged to a fishing outing, complying with the intent to capture something strange.

 

“Are you ready for the ultimate challenge, boys!” Mabel jeers happily, holding up her syrup bottle. “I’m always ready!” Dipper hurrahs, also holding up his bottle, “But I don’t think Morty is!”  
“Sure I am!” Morty retorts excitedly, now holding up his bottle, “Come at me, Pines Twins!” Mabel giggles, “Then you know what this means!” They all joyfully chant, “SYRUP RACE!” as they ecstatically flip open the caps on the syrup bottles and tip them upside down, above their open mouths. “Go Sir Syrup!” Mabel crows. “Go Mountie Man!” Dipper cheers. “Go Gold Trees!” Morty yells. The syrup pours, so slowly that it might as well not be moving at all, and the kids cheer and yell, racing in a race out of their control. The syrup drips out the fastest out of Mabel’s bottle. She chants, “Almost, _almost_! YES!” She starts to celebrate her small victory, until she starts coughing on the syrup. Dipper looks at her unamused as she manages to declare, “I won!” in between coughs. He goes to look through the _Wacky Newspaper_ on the table, and he spots something that catches his eye, “Oh-ho, no way! Guys, check this out.” Dipper lays the newspaper on the table for Morty and Mabel to see. Finn rushes from the stove and the rest of the pancakes to see as well.  
“Human sized hamster ball?” Mabel reads in awe. She gasps, “I’m human-sized!” Dipper waves his hand, “No, no, Mabel, _this_.” Dipper points to the page after, which reads, _Monster_ _Photo Contest_. There are two pictures, one of a rather cartoony monster, and the other of the supposed photographer of the first picture. “We see weirder stuff that that _every day_ ,” Dipper articulated. He turns to Mabel and asks, “We didn’t get any photos of those gnomes, did we?”  
“Nope! Just memories!” Mabel replies. She pulls out a tuff of hair, “And this beard hair.” She leans in to show everyone closely, and Dipper and Morty both recoil away. “Why did you save that?” Morty asks her, disgusted. Mabel shrugs and makes an ‘I dunno?’ sound.

From the doorway, Stan groans, and walks up to the table, “Good morning, knuckleheads.” Rick slinks up behind Stan and presses his hands against Stan’s face. Stan jumps in sudden fright, “Cold hands!” Rick snickers at his small victory, “It’s what you get for stealing my beer the other day.” Unamused, Stan bats Rick away and refocuses his attention to the kids, “You four know what day it is?”  
Dipper’s eyes dart between Morty and Mabel, before he smiles wryly and answers Stan with, “Um… Happy anniversary?” Mabel throws her hands in the air and cheers, “Jake’s birthday!” Stan swats Dipper with his newspaper. His hat flops down, covering his eyes. “It’s family fun day, genius!” Stan grunts, dropping his paper onto the table. He turns to the fridge to grab a carton of milk and sniffs it to make sure it’s still fresh, “We’re cuttin’ off work and havin’ one of those, y’know, bonding type deals.”  
“Grunkle Stan,” Dipper inquires, “Is this gonna be anything like our _last_ family bonding day?”

 

Dipper recalls when Stan made the twins and Morty produce false banknotes. “You call that Princess Bubblegum?” Stan examines the banknote, then throwing it away, “She looks like a man!” Off in the distance, the sound of banana guards making, “WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO!” sounds alarm the quartet. Stan remarks, “Uh oh.”

 

Mabel shivers, “The Candy dungeon was so cold.”  
“Alright,” Stan concedes, “Maybe I haven’t been the best summer caretaker, but I swear, today we’re gonna have some _real_ family fun.” Finn clears his throat, “Um, Stan, mind if I come? Today might make a good story to help with Jake’s cold.” Stan waves him off, “Yeah, why not?” Finn fist-pumps himself, “Yus! Math!” Stan makes his way in between Dipper, Mabel and Morty, and swings his arm, “Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car!?” The kids cheer excitedly, with an enthusiastic, “Yaay!” Then Dipper processes what Stan just said, “Wait, what?”

 

In the car, Stan looks away for a moment to adjust the radio, and in turn, swerves the car slightly to the left. “Stan! Keep your goddamn eyes on th-the road!” Rick chides him, annoyed at Stan’s inconsistent driving skills, “I-I thought you were licensed to―URRP―drive these things!?” The kids in the back, Finn, Dipper, Mabel and Morty, all are wearing blindfolds. Mabel, Finn and Morty don’t seem to be too bothered by the borderline-chaotic driving but Dipper is nervous, queasily holding his legs up to his stomach. “Blindfolds never lead to anything good,” he mutters. Mabel doesn’t acknowledge Dipper’s statement, “Wow, I feel like all my other senses are heightened!” Mabel caresses Dipper and Morty, who are sitting to her left and right (respectively), claiming that, “I can see with my fingers!” Dipper and Morty giggle, trying to push Mabel’s hands away from them. “Oh yeah,” Finn grins, “I feel the same way!” He reaches towards Mabel from the far left, poking her cheeks. Mabel giggles in response, and her giggling spreads to everyone as they all try to ‘see’ with their fingers.  
Suddenly, the car runs over a large bump, which startles the children. “Grunkle Stan, are _you_ wearing a blindfold?” Dipper asks nervously. Stan chuckles, “Hah, nah, but with these cataracts, I might as well be!” He squints at the shapes ahead of him, “What it that, a woodpecker?”  
“STAN TURN THE CAR, OH MY GLOB!” Rick screeches, leaning over to steer the car into a hard left before it smashes through a fence and into a forest.

 

When they finally arrive at their destination, the kids get out of the slightly roughed-up car and stand in front of it, still wearing their blindfolds, waiting for Stan to let them take them off. “Okay, okay,” Stan utters to them, “Open ‘em up!” As instructed, the kids removed their blindfolds to see Stan in a fishing outfit, standing triumphantly in front of the Gravity Falls’ lake. “Tada!” Stan proclaims joyfully, “It’s fishing season!” Mabel smiles, but it’s a smile full of cringe, “Fishing?”  
“What are you playin’ at, old man,” Dipper interrogates, pointing at him accusingly. Stan turns to the view of the lake, “You’re gonna love it! The whole town’s out here!”

“Here, fishy, fishies,” Lazy Susan (waitress at the local diner) in a small boat coos to the lake, holding a frypan, “Get into the pan!” Toby Determined (local, and _failing_ newsagent) kneels on the boardwalk and readies his camera to photo-shoot a man who caught a rather large fish, “Say cheese!” The bright flash startles the man, and he falls back into the water. In a medium-sized boat, the Corduroy family (minus Wendy) sit with their fishing rods. One of the sons holds his fishing rod to his visibly agitated father, “Uh, is this good?” Manly Dan snatches the rod snaps it in half over his knee and throws it into the lake, proclaiming, “ ** _NO!_** I’LL SHOW YOU HOW A REAL MAN FISHES!” Wiggling the fingers attached to his large hands, Manly Dan suddenly shoves them into the water, and actually _catches_ a fish with his bare hands. He laughs triumphantly, and throws it onto the middle of the boat. He starts to punch the living daylights out of the probably-dead-by-now fish, while his sons chant, “Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!” In another, nearby, boat, Tyler Cutebiker (local enthusiasm enthusiast) jeers, “Git ‘em! Giiiit ‘em!”

“That’s some quality family bonding,” Stan happily comments, looking out at the lake. “Grunkle Stan, why do you wanna bond with us, all of a sudden,” Dipper questions, arms folded over his chest, suspicious about their Grunkle’s true intentions. Stan walks over to the kids to answer, “Come on, this is gonna be great!” He confesses to not having fishing buddies before, stating that the guys from the lodge won’t go with Stan because they don’t, “ _Like_ or _trust_ ,” him. “I think he actually wants to fish with us,” Mabel affirms. Morty turns to Rick, “Are you in on this?” Rick laughs and shakes his head, “Oh, no, _I’m_ investigating th-the lake. For science!”  
“HEY! I know what’ll cheer you sad-sacks up!” Stan beams. He swiftly bucket-hats on Dipper and Mabel’s heads, “POW! Pines family fishing hats.” The twins take the hats off and look at the amateur stitching of their names. “Th-that-that’s hand-stitching, you know.” The ‘L’ on Mabel’s cap unstitches slightly. “It’s just gonna be you, me and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!”  
“ _Ten hours_?!” Dipper squeaks. Morty shoves his hands into his pockets, “I’m going with Rick.” Rick immediately responses by pushing Morty back with the rest of the group and shoving a fishing hat on his head, “Nope, nope! You-you’re with Stan on this one, Morty.” Stan pulls out a rather thick book (inscribed with: _1001 Yuk ‘Em Ups, Uncle Approved!_ ), “I brought the joke books!” Dipper blinks in horror, “No! _NO_!”  
“I can see it now,” Finn muses, “I’ll tell the story about today to poor, sick, Jake, and he’ll hurl me out the window because the day didn’t meet his story requirements.” Mabel looks at her brother and friends with concern, “There has to be a way outta this.” Right on cue, a shrill screams rings through the valley. “I’ve seen it! I’ve seen it again!” The Pines twins look up to the sky and gasp, whereas Finn only groans in annoyance. The Ice King, an old, blue-skinned man with a goblin’s nose and long, snow-white beard, flies through the air using his beard as a pair of wings. With his infamous ice powers, he blasts a couple of tables and a man’s sandwich before he comes to land in an empty space. “Quick! Quick! The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scampers away with a princess!” he hollers, waving his hands in the air, which nearly forms a dance of some sort. “Aww,” Mabel coos, as she and her friends come closer to the scene, “He’s doing a happy jig!”  
“Get! Get outta here!” Tate McGucket, the man who owns the fishing store by the lake, scolds Ice King, spraying him with a hose set to sprinkler. In retaliation, Ice King freezes the hose, claiming to have evidence. Mabel, Morty, Finn and Dipper all look at each other.  
“Look!” Ice King enunciates to the crowd. He points to a completely wreaked fishing boat, “The lake monster did it! And it stolen my Princess Bubblegum and swam off to Scuttlebutt Island!” Rick, suddenly appearing, shuts down Ice King’s claims, “You-you realise the Princess _never_ comes to Gravity Falls. Like, never-never, Simon.” Under his breath, Rick mutters something about thirty years ago, then coughs flakily to dismiss his remark. The local police officers (Sherriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland) make a witty remark which erupts a storm of laughter from the crowd (exceptions include Rick and Stan). Angered by his public embarrassment, Ice King flies above the ground and freezes someone to quiet the crowd, then swoops East, back to his kingdom of ice and solitude.  
“Well, that happened,” Stan blankly states. Turning to his fishing boat, Stan jumps into it, joyfully exclaiming, “Now let’s untie this boat and get out on that lake.” Dipper ignores his great-uncle and excitedly turns to Mabel and their friends, “Guys, did you hear what that wizard dude said?” Mabel imitates the Ice King, “Oh, it stole my Princess!” Dipper, yet still excited, dismisses her sister’s reply, “No, the other thing! About the monster!” Pulling out the magazine from earlier this morning, Dipper shows and explains to his friendship group that if they get a photo of the monster, they could split the prize four ways. “Imagine what you could do with two-hundred and fifty dollars!”

Mabel’s imagined use of her share of the potluck is the most colourful. Standing proudly in a human-sized hamster ball with a price tag of two-hundred and fifty dollars, she looks down at a hamster in a normal hamster ball and smirks at it, “Not so high and mighty anymore!” The hamster curls in on itself and whines pathetically, which Mabel chuckles lightly to. She runs around the Shack in her human-sized hamster ball, bursting through a wall while she does.  
Mabel’s dream boys pull up at a red light in their lava-pink convertible. “Hey boys!” Mabel greets the dream boys (who slide their sunglasses down) from the sidewalk, “You can look, but you can’t touch. The traffic light changes to green, and Mabel rolls across the road while making squeaking sounds as the dream boys’ sunglasses fall off their faces. They look to each other and gasp, “Awesome!”

“Mabel, _Mabel!_ ” Dipper snaps his fingers in front of her face to snap his sister out of her daydream. Mabel turns dramatically to the rest of the group, “I am ONE MILLION percent on-board with this!” Dipper nods, then turns to his Grunkle Stan, wrapping one of his noodly arms around his shoulder, bargaining with him, “Grunkle Staaan! Change of plans, we’re taking _that_ boat to Scuttlebutt Island and we’re gonna find that Gobblewonker!” The four kids start chanting, “Monster hunt!” amongst each other as Stan looks at them with disdain until a loud, low-pitched boat horn bellows across the lake, followed by a grand boat. Soos, being the owner of the grand boat, overhears their conversation, “You dudes say something about a monster hunt?”  
“Soos!” Mabel greets him cheerfully, a wide, innocent smile on her face. “What’s up, hambone!” Soos greets her with a fist bump with an imitated explosion sound. “Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt,” he offers the twins, Morty and Finn. He proudly pats the side of the S.S Cool Dude, “it’s got a steering wheel, chairs, normal boat stuff.”  
“Alright, alright, let’s think this through,” Stan interjects as an attempt to persuade the kids to join him, “You kids could go waste your time on some _epic monster finding adventure,_ OR, you could spend the day learnin’ how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!” The kids look at Soos, who performs a robot dance. They then look back at the sad image of Stan in his lousy fishing boat, as he sniffs his armpit. They then look to the silhouette of Scuttlebutt Island; they can faintly hear epic adventure background music. They all look at each other, their decision clear in all their minds. “So whaddya say!?” Stan asks them confidently, only to have his expectations shattered when he sees the kids ride off in Soos’ grand boat. His mouth crinkles into a frown as he hears them giggle away, remarking that they made the right choice, “Ingrates!”  
“Ah, who needs ‘em,” Stan attempts to reassure himself, “I got a whole box of creepy fishing lures to keep me company.” Flies buzz around the box, which provokes Stan to close it shut in disgust.

Dipper stands proudly on the front of the boat, looking out upon yonder. “Hoist the anchor!” he orders as if he were the captain of the ship. Soos happily complies and reels in the cinderblock that serves as an anchor. “Raise the flag!” he orders again, as Mabel holds up a lavender and magenta striped flag with a sun wearing sunglasses and the word FUN in purple bubble-text inscribed upon it. “We’re gonna find that Gobblewonker,” Mabel declares confidently. “We’re gonna win that photo contest,” Dipper guarantees himself proudly. “Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?” Soos checks the kids, wary of their health. “We’re gonna… go get sunscreen!” Dipper declares as Soos turns the boat back to shore to get sunscreen. Triumphant adventure music is imagined as the boat propels through the water. Underwater, deep in the lake, the Gobblewonker swims treacherously.

 

“Alright, if we wanna win this contest, we’ve gotta do it right,” Dipper announces to the group as the sun beats down on them, “Think! What’s the number one problem with most monster hunts?” The rest of the group look at dipper with confusion. What on earth could Dipper be leading on about? “Your side character usually dies within the first five minutes of the movie,” Soos answers. He frets when he questions whether or not Soos himself is a side character, “Do you ever think about stuff like that?” Dipper shakes his head, “No, no, no. Camera trouble!” He continues to elaborate his point to his small but very much confused audience, “Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot.” Soos obliges, slowly walking around the boat like a rare cryptid. “There he is! Bigfoot,” Dipper exclaims in a monotone voice as he acts, “Uh oh, no camera! Oh wait, here’s one! Ohh, no film!” Dipper puts the camera back in his vest and rotates his hands around, resuming to his regular voice, “You see, you see what I’m doing here?” The group nod and murmur in agreement, understanding what Dipper is trying to explain. He takes out a brown sack full of disposable cameras, “THAT’S why I brought twenty-five, disposable cameras. Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag and one _under my hat_.” Confidently, Dipper affirms that there is no way they’re going to miss this. “Okay everybody let’s test our cameras out!” Soos tries to take a photo with his camera, but because he has it facing the wrong way, the camera’s flash startles Soos and he accidentally throws it into the lake. Dipper calmly assures them, “You see, this is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have twenty-four.” A bird swoops past Mabel, startling her. “Ah, bird!” she squeaks, tossing a camera at it as a reaction. “Twenty-three, ho-okay, guys, I repeat, don’t lose your cameras,” Dipper cautions, while trying to stay calm himself. “Wait, lose the cameras?” Morty checks with him.

“DON’T!”

“Man, I just threw two away,” Morty discloses. “Twenty-one!” Dipper’s voice cracks with agitation, “Alright! We still have twenty-one came–!” _CRUNCH_ is the sound the camera makes when it is crushed under Dipper’s fist. “Twenty. We have twenty cameras.”  
“So what’s the plan?” Mabel asks her brother, holding a camera over the boat, “Throw more cameras overboard or what?” Dipper’s eyes widen at the mention of losing more cameras, “ **NO!** No. Okay, you and Finn can be lookout, Soos can work the steering wheel, and I’ll be captain.” Morty throws his bag of cameras on the ground in protest, “What!? Why do you get to be captain!? What about Morty, huh? Morty! Morty! Morty!” Dipper taps his chin, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Morty folds his arms bitterly, “Why do you always have to be the boss!” Dipper sticks out his tongue at Morty, “Because I’m the most qualified!”  
“Are you suuuuure about that, Dipper?” Morty sniffs. He tosses a camera overboard, which startles Dipper, “What if _Mabel_ ’s the most qualified? Hm?” Dipper puts his hand on his hips and glares at Morty, “Fine then, maybe she is.” Mabel pops in between the two boys, “Whatcha say ‘bout me?” Dipper blatantly removes his cap and puts it on Mabel’s head, “Mabel, you are captain now.” She straightens Dipper’s cap and squeals quietly to herself. “Can I be vice-captain?” Soos puts his hand up and asks her. “As captain, I authorise that request!”  
“Well, as a suggestion,” Dipper implores, “Maybe we should be focusing on getting a photo of the monster.” He turns everyone’s attention to the barrel of fish food, “Our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with _this_.” Soos, who is standing next to the barrel, asks Mabel, “Permission to taste some?” Mabel shrugs, “Granted.” Soos permits himself to taste the fish food, which (unexpectedly by Soos) tastes terrible. He spits out the chunk he bit off into the lake and scrapes his tongue to try and remove the taste, while the twins, Finn and Morty erupt into an atrocious fit of laughter. “Ugh, dude, I didn’t know what I expected that to taste like,” Soos excuses himself, scratch the back of his head.

 

“Traitors,” Stan spits bitterly as he watches them from afar, “Ah, I’ll find my own fishing buddies.” He looks around the lake and spots a boat with two people in the distance. Satisfied, he starts up the boat’s engine and propels the said hunk of wood towards them, “There’s my new pals!”

The man in the boat quietly opens up a box with a single, golden ring adorned with a diamond with a poor lustre. He takes in a slow, deep breath and turns to his girlfriend, who is peacefully enjoying the landscape. “Now that we’re alone, Roseanna,” the man starts to say to her, “There’s a burning question which my heart longs to ask of you.” The woman clasps her hands together and sighs wistfully, “Oh, Reginald.” Tears start to trickle from her eyes, until a gruff, “Hey!” interrupts their alone time. “Wanna hear a joke?” Stan asks the couple, not expecting a reply from them. “Here it goes; my ex-wife still misses me,” Stan starts to bellow and swing his arm to and fro, “but HER AIM IS GETTIN’ BETTER!” An awkward silence between the two parties is all that is there to greet him. Stan swings his arm side to side again, “HER AIM IS GETTIN’ BETTER!” Another silence, which Stan mistakes for the couple not getting his joke, “You see, it-it’s funny because marriage is terrible.” The couple row away from Stan, giving him the boater’s equivalent of the cold shoulder. Rick’s head pops out from under the water, and turns his head to face Stan, “Were y-you born with your feet in your mouth?”

 

The S.S Cool Dude cruises through the fog covered stream of water. On board is Finn and Dipper on lookout, Mabel as captain, and Soos vice-captain and the person who steers the boat. He shovels out the horrible tasting fish food into the water. “Hey, how’s it going?” Mabel asks the pelican sitting on the edge of the boat. “It’s going awesome!” Mabel replies to herself in a gruff voice as the pelican, “Baow! Ba-ba-baow!” Dipper puts his hands on his shoulders and scolds Mabel, telling her to leave the big bird alone. “Aw, I don’t mind none!” ~~Mabel~~ the pelican responds to him. “Hey look, I’m drinking water!” Mabel crows, chugging water while she sings Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star as the pelican until she starts to choke on the water. The pelican flies away while she coughs. “Mabel, I’m trying to be lookout!” Dipper chides her. “LOOK OUT!” Mabel yells at him, throwing a netball at Dipper. It hits his shoulder, and he shudders in pain. Mabel squints at her brother and laughs. The boat inexplicable crashes into the shore of Scuttlebutt Island, startling the kids and Soos. “Hey, I thought you were lookout?” Mabel innocently asks with Dipper, who rolls his eyes. The group of five leave the boat and stand on the shore of the Island. “Hamster ball, here we come!” Mabel proudly affirms. They trek into the island, in search for the elusive Gobblewonker.

The kids and Soos walk past a sign which reads _Scuttlebutt Island_. Soos jokingly covers the _Scuttle_ part of the sign, “Dudes, check it out! Butt Island!” Finn and Mabel giggle at Soos’ little joke. “Soos, you scallywag!” Mabel coos. Dipper looks at his friends in disbelief, standing next to Morty, who is holding the lantern. “Why aren’t you laughing?” Mabel asks her brother, “Are you scared?”  
“Pfft, yeah, right,” Dipper scoffs, folding his arms, “I’m not-!” Mabel pokes his nose and blows a raspberry, “Yeah, you are!”  
“Hey-!” Mabel continues to poke her brother. “Quit-!” She keeps persevering and poking him while making raspberries. “Ah-! Stop! Mabel! Ah! Erm!” A low growl that echoes through the forest interrupts the twin’s shenanigans. “Did you guys here that?” Finn quivers, gripping his sword. “What was that?” Mabel muses, cowering behind Soos. She gasps and looks towards him, “Was it your stomach?” Soos denies such claim, stating that his stomach makes whale noises. Mabel puts her ear up to his stomach, and sure enough, can hear majestic whale noises from it, “Wow, so majestic.”  
A rat scampers past and climbs onto Morty, stealing his lantern and running off into the fog. “Morty! Our lantern!” Dipper scolds him, only helpless to watch as the rat disappears into the vision-hindering fog. “Augh, I can’t see anything!”  
“Dude, I dunno man, maybe this-ah… maybe this isn’t worth it,” Soos shrugs as their adventure spirals. “ _Not worth it_?” Dipper protests, “Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!”

“Tonight, we’re with adventure seeker, Dipper Pines, who bravely photographed the elusive Gobblewonker!” Charlie, the interviewer, proudly reports, slamming his fist onto the table. Dipper, in a Sourpop Jones outfit sits proudly in his chair at the interview table. “Tell me, Dipper, what’s the secret to your success?” Dipper reaches to grab his coffee, “Well, I run away from nothing.” He takes a huge swig from the cup and wipes his mouth, “Nothing except for when I ran away from my annoying Grunkle Stan who I ditched in order pursue the lake monster.”  
“How right you were to do so,” Charlie agrees with him, “He looked like a real piece of work.” He walks over to the smiling Dipper, holding a golden medallion, “I don’t often do this, but I feel the need to give you an award.” After bestowing the award on Dipper, they pose for paparazzi photos until a loud CRASH silences the crowd. “CHARLIE!” Mabel, scruffy and trapped inside her human-sized hamster ball, bursts through the wall and huffs, “WHY WON’T YOU INTERVIEW ME!?” She rolls towards Dipper and the interviewer, chasing them to no end.

Mabel and Dipper both smile at their post-photo-contest fantasies, their will to hunt down the Gobblewonker returning to them. However, Soos isn’t so hot on the idea, but he tags along anyway with the kids.

In the spooky, fog-filled forest of Scuttlebutt Island, Soos beatboxes a beat for Mabel to rap to. “My name is Mabel, it rhymes with table, it also rhymes with… glayble, it also rhymes with… schmable!” Finn joins into the rap, “My name is Finn, it rhymes with bin, it also rhymes with grin, it also rhymes with… dim!” Soos smiles at their little rap, “Dude, we should be writing this down.” However, the rap is of no concern to Dipper and Morty, keeping their ears and eyes peeled for any sign of the Gobblewonker. “Guys! Guys, guys, you hear something?” Dipper silences them. Low-pitched noises are the only thing anyone can hear. A murder of crows flies from somewhere in the forest. Dipper smiles widely, “This is it! This is it!” Dipper and Mabel lightly punch each other in the arm as they draw closer to the lake monster. Morty hunches behind the twins. Finn grips his sword, and Soos grabs a conveniently placed, wooden spear and straightens his cap. In the water, the group of five spot the silhouette of the Gobblewonker, and duck behind a log. “Everyone!” Dipper whispers, “Get your cameras ready!”  
“Ready, go!”  
The group of five charge with their cameras blazing, and only stop until it is revealed that the silhouette is only a broken ship littered with beavers. Two beavers hug each other while another falls into the water. “But-but what was that noise?” Dipper sadly ponders, obviously very disappointed with this outcome of events. Soos still seems pretty happy, snapping photos of the beavers. “I heard a monster noise!” The true source of said noise is quickly revealed to just be a beaver with a rusty chainsaw. “Sweet, beaver with a chainsaw,” Soos exclaims, quickly taking a handful of photos of it. “Maybe the Ice King is just crazy,” Dipper acknowledges disappointingly. “He _did_ freeze a person,” Mabel adds. Dipper sighs heavily.

 

“Look, when you thread the line—a lot of people don’t know this—but you wanna use a barrel knot,” Stan explains to his newfound fishing buddy, who is just another preteen kid, “That’s a secret from one fishing buddy, to another.” The kid’s eyes dart all over the place, “Uh… I-uh-who are you exactly?”  
“Just call me your Grunkle Stan!” he answers, patting the kid’s head. “Sir-sir-SIR!” the kid’s mother disgruntledly yells at Stan, “Why are you talking to our son!? If you don’t leave RIGHT NOW… I’m calling the police!” Stan cackles, “Well, you see, the thing about that is,” he takes off in his boat, far, _far_ , away from that family. “Go bother your own kids!”

 

“Ooh yeah!” Soos jeers delightfully as he snaps photos of the posing beavers, “Work it! Work it! Nice! Nice! Gimme ‘nother one of those. I like that one.” A final flash from the camera sends the beaver astray. Dipper, sitting on a rock at the edge of the foggy lake, tosses a rock into the water, “What are we gonna say to Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing.” He sighs, obviously very disappointed. A low rumble disrupts the water, creating ripples across its surface. “Hey,” Dipper whispers loudly, “Guys do you feel that—whoa!” He slips into the water, and without a second thought, quickly swims out. He narrowly escapes the large tail fin that waves past the monster-hunting group, triggering a shriek from Mabel and Morty. The body of a large sea-monster skims through the water, it’s backside exposed from the water. “This is it‼” Dipper readies his camera, his spirits clearly brightened. He snaps a couple of shots of the cryptid, turning back to his group, “C’mon! This is our chance!” Their response is not what Dipper expects, Mabel, Morty, Finn and Soos backing away slowly. Finn draws his sword, the golden weapon shaking in his trembling hands. “What’s wrong with you guys,” Dipper frowns. He fails to notice the Gobblewonker’s long neck arch behind him in terror. “Dipper…” Mabel quivers as she maintains eye contact with the cryptid’s glowing yellow eyes. “It’s not that hard, alright,” Dipper points to his camera, beginning to demonstrate how to use it, “All you gotta do is point and shoot. Like this.” Dipper looks for the Gobblewonker in his camera screen, only finally noticing the reality of the situation when he sees the shadowed head of the monster growl at him. By the time Dipper’s dropped camera hits the ground, his party is already ten metres ahead of the Gobblewonker. Dipper quickly bursts through the forest, fleeing the second terror of the summer. The Gobblewonker knocks a down, threatening to crush Mabel. Luckily, Dipper is able to push her out of the tree’s range, which turns the twins into a flesh ball rolling about five miles an hour. The twins spring free from their woven state, returning to running and dodging falling trees. “Get back to the boat!” Soos hollers, “Hurry‼” The Gobblewonker snaps at them, barely missing his Morty-flavoured snack. Dipper looks back while running to snap a photo, but loses the camera after tripping on a stray tree root. “Not the picture,” he wails, daring to run back for the camera. His dash for the photo is halted by Soos, who grabs Dipper by the collar of his life vest. “Dude, if it makes you feel any better, I got tonnes of pictures of those beavers,” Soos tries to assure him while they make their mad dash for the boat. “Why would that make me feel better!?” Dipper disgruntledly retorts.

Without getting chomped, the group of five survived the chase and pile onto the boat as quickly as possible. “Augh! Let’s get outta here‼” Soos cries, reaching for the wheel. In the distance, they can hear intense banjo music play as they try to outrun the cryptid. The boat propels through the water in reverse. The children and Soos watch the Gobblewonker shrink as they travel further and further away from it. Dipper takes out another disposable camera, “Alright, this is it!” He squeaks in dismay when he finds that the camera has a cracked lens, “Soos! Get a photo!” But Soos is too busy hurling his camera stash at the Gobblewonker. “What are you doing!?” Dipper shrieks, his voice cracking as it is raised a few octaves higher. “Oh! I still got one left! Don’t worry, dude!” Soos consoles, tossing Dipper the camera. However, it crumbles into itty-bitty pieces when it slams into the wooden frame of the steering cabin. The Gobblewonker dives into the water, gaining speed on the fleeing boat. It growls menacingly as it pursues its prey, bringing Soos to turn up the speed of the boat. The sea-monster snaps at the boat, but misses, creating a large wave that knocks Soos and Morty off their feet. Soos gets behind the wheel and steers the boat forward, facing forward. “Go-go-go-go!” Dipper urges, pointing to shore. Soos nods seriously, turning the boat’s engines one more gear up.

Stan is busy fiddling with his tangled fishing line, muttering nonsense words as he struggles to untie the knotted mess. “Can you _pwease_ tell me _more_ funny stories, papa?” the high pitched voice of a little child catches Stan’s attention. The twin children, a boy and a girl, in the boat with their grandfather bear a rather striking resemblance to Stan’s own niblings. “Anything for my fishing buddies,” the twin’s grandfather gushes, ruffling the boy’s hat and chuckling tenderly. Stan grumbles, clearly annoyed and jealous of the random family out on the lake. “Papa,” the twin boy rubs his arm nervously, “I just wealised…” he puts his little hand atop his grandfather’s, bringing his voice down to a delicate whisper, “I wuv you.”  
“Oh, come on‼ Boooo‼ Boooo‼” Stan boos, interrupting the little family’s special bonding moment. The grandfather stands up in the boat to confront Stan, his twin grandchildren watching in dismay, “H-hey now, what’s the big idea!?” The little boy pipes up in his annoyingly adorable voice, “Maybe he has no one who wuvs him, papa.” That fact is indeed correct, and has Stan stumped on a comeback, “Yeah, well, I—I-!?”

Stan’s own twin niece and nephew (along with their friends) blatantly interrupts him, Soos’ ‘S.S Cool Dude’ ripping through the water. They are quickly followed by the Gobblewonker, which creates a large wave drenching everyone nearby, including Stan. “Ngha!” Stan hurls his fishing hat to the floor of his boat, dripping with water. He sits down and sighs heavily.

 

The Gobblewonker is in close pursuit of the S.S Cool Dude, with five panicked passengers on board. “Soos, beaver!” Dipper exclaims, pointing to the shipwreck littered with beavers. The beavers chitter (translation: “We’re still beavers.”) in response. Unfortunately, for both parties, Soos isn’t able to steer the boat away from the beavers, bluntly crashing into their shipwreck with full force. Beavers rain from the sky, pelting the five-manned crew. The beavers bite and nibble, distracting everyone from the wheel. Dipper immediately works to get the beavers off him, tossing them carelessly into the water. He ignores Soos and Finn running around in circles on the boat, and blocks out Morty and Mabel’s shrieks. The Gobblewonker still stays in pursuit of them, its yellow, glowing eyes tracking their movements. Out of sheer luck, the S.S Cool Dude swerves away from stationary fishing boats, barely bothering them. Unfortunately, it becomes a moot point as the Gobblewonker disturbs the boats as it skims just below the water’s surface.

“HEADLOCK!” Manly Dan jeers as he squeezes his fish in between his arm. His sons cheer for him, until their boat is wiped out by the Gobblewonker. Fishes bucket down upon them, very much to Dan’s alarm, “THE FISHES!? THEY SEEK **REVENGE**!” He firmly asserts his boys to swim to shore, to avoid the fishes’ revenge.

The Gobblewonker swipes its ugly head at the S.S Cool Dude, attempting to bite off chunks of the boat. It successfully takes out the roof of the boat, sending wooden debris soaring. Mabel relinquishes control of the boat, yelling a sharp, “Look out!” Two men in separate boats attempt to move a huge, glass pane across the water for some delirious reason, which is shattered into a million shards as the S.S Cool Dude slams through it at full speed. “My glass!” one of the men grumbles, shaking his fist threateningly. “Oo-oh! Where do I go!?” Mabel shrieks, gripping the wheel so tight, her knuckles turn white. She is helpless to watch as their boat streams closer towards the impending rock face. Soos offers no solution, too focused on removing the last beaver from his face. Dipper quickly flips through his journal, humming _ums_ as he panickily screens page after page. “Uh-uh, go to the falls! I-I think there might be a cave behind there!” Morty pulls at his hairs, “ _Might! Be!?_ ” Seconds away from impact, the kids and Soos all cover their eyes and brace for their doom.

Instead of slamming into rock as they had expected, the boat pushes through the water and sails straight into the sandy shore of a cave. They sigh contently, realising that they’re, indeed, very much, alive. But their intermission to brush off the sand is never long enough, the Gobblewonker abruptly bursting through the cave entrance. The four children cling to Soos, who wraps his arms defensively. They all scream until they realise that the Gobblewonker had become _stuck_. It flails helplessly and growls weakly, much to the kids’ delight. “It’s stuck!” Mabel remarks, grinning hugely. Dipper and Morty laugh in triumph, raising their balled fists into the air. “Wait! It’s _stuck_ ‼” Dipper fully comprehends the Gobblewonker’s predicament, running to a good ledge to take a picture. Except… he is unable to produce a camera, Dipper panics until Finn lifts his cap. Mabel grabs the camera resting on his head and hands it to her twin brother, who laughs victoriously. He snaps multiple photos of the Gobblewonker, who snaps angrily at him. Trigger-happy, Dipper dances and bounces to the _click-click-click_ of the camera. “Did you get a good one?” Morty asks, shuffling closer. Dipper throws his hands in the air, “They’re all good ones‼” Mabel and Finn follow, embracing Dipper in a victory hug.

However, their victory is short lived.

A lump of rock falls onto the Gobblewonker’s head, who fizzes and sparks, collapsing into the shallow water. “What the…” Dipper irks, squinting at the monster. He hops off the ledge and friskily walks over to the unresponsive Gobblewonker. “Huh?” he touches the side of the monster, recoiling instinctively. “What’s wrong?” Mabel calls out from the ledge, wistfully watching Dipper tap his fist against the creature. He jumps and climbs up onto its back, triggering a, “Careful dude!” from Soos. “I got this,” Dipper replies, “Hold on!” Mabel and Morty cover their mouths, while Soos and Finn brace for any reaction. Dipper calls out for them after a few suspenseful moments, and they follow with trepidation.

 They look suspiciously at the escape hatch that sits on the Gobblewonker’s back. Dipper hesitates, but for only a second, before looking briefly at Mabel and opening the hatch. Air hisses out from the sides, and Dipper flips open the door. Mist blows in their face, obscuring the surprise.

“Crap,” a feminine voice bellows. The mist clears to reveal Princess Bubblegum, ruler of the Candy Kingdom, the person behind the Gobblewonker, which turns out to be nothing more than a manned machine. “Wha- _you_! _You_ made this!?” Dipper gawps, “W-why!?” Bubblegum flicks the off switch for the mechanical monster, “I didn’t make this… I only copied blueprints. And to answer _why_? I wanted to kill some time.” She gracefully exits the machine, jumping down into the shallow pit of water. “I…I still don’t understand!” Dipper says, following the princess. Bubblegum pulls out a sheet of blue paper, with white scribbles. The blueprints.

“I wouldn’t be able to explain it all in such a short timeframe,” she answers, averting her eyes. “What are you talking about?” Mabel raises an eyebrow, “We’ve got two more hours to kill.” Bubblegum shakes her head, “That’s two hours left to hang out with your great-uncle.” The rest of the kids (and Soos) jump down, standing by Dipper. Bubblegum turns towards them, “I look eighteen, but trust me… I’m a lot older than that. Old enough that I’ve seen friends of mine disappear. Close friends. Almost like… family. You wouldn’t understand the price I’d pay to hang out with my old friends…” Dipper and Mabel pull out their fishing hats, looking at them regretfully. They sigh heavily. “Dude. I think the real lake monster is you dudes,” putting their emotion into words, Soos voices, “Heheh… Sorry, it was just like, “Boom!” popped into my head.”

“So… what happened to your friends?” Mabel asks cautiously. Bubblegum’s eyes refuse to meet Mabel’s, darting around the cave, “You’ll find out soon enough…” The kids trudge disappointingly out of the cave. “Well… so much for the photo contest,” Dipper sighs. “We still have one more roll of film left,” Mabel responds. “What do you wanna do with it?” Morty asks.

 

In the afternoon sun, Stan sighs as he propels his little boat back to the harbour. “Hey! Over here!” Stan hears from behind him. The kids and Soos catch up with Stan in their wrecked boat, waving happily. Dipper snaps a photo of Stan with his camera.  “What the-? Kids!?” Stan grimaces with disdain, “I thought y’all were playing spin the bottle with Soos.” Dipper averts his eyes, scratching his arm, “Well, we spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur.”  
“But we realised that the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here,” Mabel gushes. Stan waves the off, trying his best to play it cool, “Save your sympathy! I’ve been having a great time without ya!” He lists off his activities, which quickly decline into, “having a run in with the police.” He remarks that he must wear an ankle bracelet for the rest of the day. “So, I guess there isn’t room in that boat for five more?” Dipper and Morty ask, their eyes falling to the water. Stan remains unmoved, until his niblings put on their fishing hats with enthusiasm. “You knuckleheads ever seen me throw a hook with my eyes closed?” Stan asks cautiously. “Five bucks says you can’t do it!” Dipper retorts, his joy returning at full force. He boards the boat.

“You’re on!”

“Five more bucks says you can’t do it with your eyes closed, PLUS me singing at the top of my lungs!” Mabel adds cheerfully, boarding the boat too.

“ _Ten_ more says you-you can’t do it with your eyes closed, Mabel singing a-at the top of her lungs, AND me making fart noises!” Morty adds too, jumping onto the boat.

“I like those odds!” Stan beams, putting his hands on his hips. Finn and Soos silently board the small boat. “Whoa, what happened to your shirt!?” Stan acknowledges blankly, pointing at almost shirtless Soos. “Long story, dude,” Soos dismisses. Dipper pulls out his camera, “Alright, everybody get together! Say fishing!” Mabel waves at the camera, Stan bobs down to appear, Finn pops his head from below, Morty and Soos ask if they’re in the shot or not.

After a wholesomely great two hour of bonding on the lake, the group cruise their way to shore. The boat bumps gently, triggering a, “What was that?” from Dipper. Morty shrugs and makes an _I dunno_ sound. Little do they know, that the true beast of the lake had been swimming around. Perhaps… it is a story for another day.

 

“The end!” Finn finishes promptly, folding his arms. Mabel cheers, clapping her hands and whooping, “Great story‼” Dipper rolled his eyes, “We just lived through that story, Mabel. We got home, like, an hour ago.” Sickly Jake nods his head, mentally checking off the list of requirements for a good story. His expression suddenly contorts to one of shock, “Finn‼ There wasn’t any _romance_!” His arms stretch to throw Finn out of the bedroom window. From outside, Finn hollers, “IT WASN’T MY FAULT‼” Luckily for Finn, he finds it easy to climb back up into their shared bedroom, catching Morty laughing at him in the process. Finn glares at him, then turns to Jake with a devilish grin plastered on his face, “Okay, bro, I’ve got some romance. Morty spent half the time watching Mabel dreamily, so there!” Morty’s cheeks glow a few shades more pink, “H-hey‼ No I wasn’t‼” Mabel’s cackling floods the room, much to Finn’s delight. “I-I-I-I don’t l-like Mabel like that‼” Morty whines. He flinches when he feels Mabel’s hand rest on his shoulder, “You don’t have to deny it, Morty; we all know I’m _irresistible_!” Combined with her seductive voice, that statement brought an eruption of laughter from them all, except from Morty. Mabel senses his discomfort and playfully punches his arm, “Ah, I’m just messing with ya! Don’t worry about it!” Her radiant smile lifts Morty’s spirits up, even if it’s just a tiny bit, “Y-yeah.”

**_19-3-1-18-25 13-15-14-19-20-5-18 2-5-14-5-1-20-8 20-8-5 23-1-20-5-18_ **

**_3-8-9-12-4-18-5-14 3-15-14-19-21-13-5-4 2-25 12-1-21-7-8-20-5-18_ **

**_20-8-5 10-15-25 15-6 20-8-5 19-21-13-13-5-18-20-9-13-5 13-9-7-8-20 2-5_ **

**_20-1-11-5-14 1-23-1-25 20-8-9-19 20-9-13-5_ **


End file.
